Language Lab: Xobliam

xobliam

zob-lee-am

n. A mysterious entity which manifests itself in a masonry column beside a driveway or street, opposite a bricked postal receptacle.

Not much is known about the xobliam, except the following:

  1. The xobliam is hollow and empty.
  2. The interior of the xobliam is a constant 37° Fahrenheit.
  3. The xobliam is evil, yet it is incapable of action (either physical or telekenetic.)
  4. The xobliam contains the exact amount of gases required to fill the interior of a 1971 Ford Pinto.
  5. The xobliam is only known to appear in North America.

Common sense dictates several rules of conduct regarding the xobliam:

  1. Do not verbally taunt the xobliam. Written taunts have mixed results.
  2. Maintain a distance of at least 17 inches from the xobliam at all times.
  3. Do not decorate the xobliam.
  4. Do not stare directly at the xobliam for longer than 14 minutes.
  5. Do not dance around the xobliam (except during the first hour of the winter solstice.)
  6. Do not park a car directly facing the xobliam.

Alternate regional names for the xobliam:

Pilar de la Oscuridad (Mexico)
Colonne De Mefait (Quebec)
Nadie Meenvía Cartas (Nicaragua)
Frente al Buzón (Honduras)


Readers:

Help us expand the world’s knowledge of the subject by sending us photos of xobliam sightings in the comments area. Thanks!


Posted on January 3, 2011

Category : Language Lab

English, French, Spanish, West Virginia

This is a proposed new addition to the language, and, as such, its use has been neither tested nor approved. Any usage of this word in conversation or written form resulting in derision or injury is in no way the responsibility of ThunkTV or its affiliates.

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